Tales of the TTC: Overhead and Overcrowded

This week, my headphones broke. Seeing as how headphones are expensive (especially the ones that just BROKE) I'm waiting until payday on Friday to replace them. What that means, however, is that my commute has become ever so much more aggravating as I'm forced to listen and have my space invaded by the many imbeciles I'm forced to commute with. This is why iPods sell so well in Toronto- we need to drown out the drudgery.

Riddle me this: Is there a reason, good madame, why you must put your hand on the small of my back and forcibly push me from the subway like a misbehaving labrador? Can you not see that I'm limping? I apologize if my knee injury is slowing you down, but I'm pretty sure when when I kick your ass with my good leg you might not care about the extra 2 seconds.

Also: I realize that commuting does require a certain removal of the personal bubble, but that thing you're resting your arm on is my belly button. Step off, or I'll light your dumb-ass goatee on fire.

Finally: Mom on the bus- your conversation with your 5 year old son this morning disturbed me. Here's a taste:

Mom: "Tommy, why are you playing that gameboy all the time? You're staring at the screen and missing the beautiful day!" (etc, etc, for several blocks)

Last time I checked, 5-year-olds don't have a great deal of autonomy. I'm pretty certain, in fact, that you put that gameboy in his hand to begin with, and most likely shelled out the $200 for it this Christmas. Here's an idea: TAKE IT AWAY FROM HIM IF IT BUGS YOU SO MUCH!

Later on, you began a complex conversation with him about his grammar.

Boy: "I'm going to school!"

Mom: "No. Say I am. I am going to school."

Boy: "I'm going to school!"

Mom: "No, Tommy, you're putting it together. Say I am. I am."

I AM slowly going crazy.

Be happy he's kept his finger out of his nose long enough to go through this pointless exercise with you. He's in KINDERGARTEN. What do you think they're teaching them there, Dostoevsky? You should be happy that he's already learned how to properly use contractions. If you keep it up, your kids going to get his ass kicked for speaking like he's from the 19th Century.

Sigh. Now I feel better. What's your TTC rant? Or any public transit, for that matter.